We knew it was coming...

But that doesn't make it any easier to swallow!

When my husband was interviewing for residencies, almost 3 years ago, he was very interested in things like "rural tracks" and continuity clinics in inner-city situations. Working in smaller towns and "medically-needy" situations is something he is very interested in (to his wife's displeasure). Our current residency program includes that very thing: a rural track, which is a month rotation spent in another town over an hour away from our home. Dr. N has been looking forward to his turn to be out in this small town working in the hospital and clinic there... so throughout the last 2 years we knew it was coming ... and yet it completely snuck up on me! It felt like suddenly I only had a couple weeks' notice that it was coming, and I didn't know how to emotionally prepare myself for the separation.

Since gas is so pricey right now ($3.75 and rising), and because of the length of the drive to this town and back, we decided that Dr. N would only drive home to stay overnight at home once each week. He has to be on mommy-call for some of his time as well, so for those days he can't drive home at all. But we were able to make a plan for the month in order to get a visit in with him every so often. We are now exactly one week into it and ... well, it has been a bit rough! My 2 kiddos and I REALLY miss Daddy being around. We also just came off of a vacation week, so we grew accustomed to him being around and then all of a sudden we had that bandaid ripped off! We didn't quite know how to react!

The kids act out more without their normal routine of seeing Daddy every day or two. 

I feel so overworked by the time their bedtime rolls around. 

"Mean-mommy" comes out of me WAY too often. 

I won't be able to attend tuesday night mutual activities (I am in the Young Women presidency in my church) unless I line up someone from the ward to sit at my house while I go - which is a lot harder to make happen than it sounds, since so many in our tiny ward have a tuesday calling! 

I feel lonely and somewhat forgotten by my friends who don't really understand what I'm going through. I even started bawling when one friend dropped by totally unannounced with an easter activity  for my kids! I so badly needed that reminder that I wasn't forgotten. 

We don't eat as well as when I'm cooking for a man ... we end up doing a lot more "kid friendly" food like quesadillas, grilled cheese, muffins, mac n cheese. Yuck. It's getting old and I'm only one week in! 

However, I have also noticed some "silver linings" to having Dr. N away: 

My house is much cleaner! And STAYS cleaner! I don't even understand why that is, because my man doesn't do any cleaning. I have the same amount of cleaning as I did before, but for some reason I get it done more often. It's a mystery! 

The amount of laundry I'm doing has been cut completely in half, which I am totally loving. Man clothes are so big and heavy... between business-attire, his white coats, ugly green scrubs that are never ending, and his gym clothes, it seems like his clothing alone creates more loads than mine and the kids' put together.

Our grocery bills have been cheaper so far! 

I have my nights all to myself and can watch whatever silly girl movies I want, or sit on the computer (like I am right now) for hours without feeling guilty. 

I know we will make it through this rotation, just like every other one we have encountered. Each new month is a new adventure, and each crappy rotation is a chance for me to learn a new level of independence and strength. As pain-staking as it may be. Someday I'll look back on this month and say "Remember when...??" 

-F. Nightingale