It's Not All Bad

Let's face it, every job comes with its perks. Teachers get summers off with their kids, athletes are paid millions to play a game that they love, and the President of the United States lives in a mansion and is flown around on a private plane with more rooms than my house. While the medical word comes with a lot of challenges (not saying other professions don't), it also comes with a few bonuses. Here are a few that I have experienced so far: 

• Getting in to see a doctor is easy. Unless you are needing a specialist that is outside your/your spouses field (and even then sometimes), you really don't have to wait weeks or months to get in with a doc. If I have a concern all it takes is a call to the clinic and I'm given an appointment immediately. Technically I could just show up and they would make sure I was seen, but that goes beyond what I'm comfortable with. 

• When you do go in to see a doctor you don't have to wait. Granted, this hasn't always been the case. Even at the clinic Dr. Barton is practicing in I have waited an hour+ two different times. HOWEVER, most of the time, even when it is crazy packed in the lobby, it takes me 30 minutes or less from the time I walk in the doors to the time I'm walking out. It would be super easy for the doctors to have the mentality of "oh, it's Dr. B's wife? She'll understand if I'm running behind and can't get to her right away," and honestly they wouldn't be wrong. It's a lot harder to be annoyed at the time it takes when you know just how hard they are working. But they generally don't do that, and it's really nice. 

• Sometimes you don't even have to "see" a doctor. A few weeks ago Princess came down with a bad case of strep. I took her in to the clinic and we were taken care of immediately. A few days later Monkey caught the strep, but it was a Saturday and the clinic was closed. Obviously Dr. B was able to examin her, but he can't legally write her a prescription, so we called one of the other residents who called one in for us. We've also had residents make house calls for us when I needed one of the girls to be checked out, the clinic wasn't an option (or just super inconvenient at that time), and Dr. Barton was unavailable to help me out. Seriously, this has been such a blessing at the hardest and most needed times. 

• People respect you more even though you aren't the one with the medical degree. Is it kind of ridiculous that people listen to and agree with what I say more now that I am a doctors wife? Yeah, it kind of is. I mean, it's nice that I feel more heard than ever before, but it's not like I didn't have many of these same thoughts and feelings before. Regardless, I can't deny that it is also kind of nice to hold that extra respect. I just hope that I am truly earning it and can live up to the expectations. 

• You are treated to super nice meals on occasion. Dr. Barton is currently attending a conference for the State Medical Board. Basically a bunch of doctor delegates in varying specialties from around the state convene with legislatures to create and change medical law and practice throughout the state. To be honest it's a little over my head, but it's pretty awesome that Dr. Barton was chosen to be the representative for our residency. Anywho.... we were able to come with him as a family and not only is our travel paid for, but various activities while he is in meetings, amazing dinners every night (including a super fancy and expensive presidential dinner that allows me to get all dressed up), a generous allowance for our other meals, and free t-shirts for the whole family to boot. Tonight my dinner plate was three times what I would normally be okay paying for a meal out AND I ordered dessert, all paid for by the Medical Association (and this was the Family Night dinner, the least fancy of the three nights). 

• Sometimes you also to have fun experiences paid for. At this conference we were also invited to attend the local Discovery Museum as a family. Again, this was completely paid for by the Medical Association. For our little family of four this activity normally would have cost us $50, meaning normally we wouldn't go. However, it turned out to be something that our kids absolutely loved even though it's geared towards older children (think 5-12, not 2 and 3). They were so sad that it was time to go after almost two hours of being there. 

At this point in our medical training there are undeniably more hardships than benefits, but that certainly doesn't mean that they aren't there. So for now I am going to enjoy these advantages guilt-free. And maybe even order a second dessert. 

- Clara B. 

Awkward Situation

I feel like this is a story where there is a lesson to be learned, but I haven't quite figured it out yet.  We were in a baby class.  It happened to be the midwives class, but it's not really relevant.  (I actually really enjoyed our first class other than this one thing, but you'll see, it wasn't the class that bugged me).  We were all asked to state our fears about labor and delivery, and support people were asked to state theirs as well.  There were the normal things about pain, endurance, fear of unknown emergencies.  Then there was one husband whose fear was the competence of the staff at the hospital.  He was nervous that he couldn't trust the physicians and nurses to be the best and do the best for his wife and child.  He continued by saying he had heard bad things about the hospital, about people going in for routine surgeries and not making it.  That then provoked 3 other class members to agree and share that they had heard the same thing about the hospital and its workers.  It was then agreed on, however, that the exception to this was the labor and delivery floor, the recovery area, the pediatric staff and the NICU staff.  Those nurses and doctors were very kind and helpful.  Now that I think about it, I don't remember any mention of them being competent, but it's possible they mentioned it.

No one knew my husband was a resident.  We both know want to keep that fact under wraps.  I have 2 reasons.  One, it made me extremely uncomfortable hearing the colleagues of my husband (and my husband as well) doubted and bashed just a little bit.  I had never heard any of this before and I feel like if our hospital wasn't good, 1) my husband wouldn't have wanted to come here and 2) it would have been a topic of conversation with both the residents and their significant others (since the residents are here trying to learn and if they feel like either other residents or attendings aren't doing things properly, it's going to be brought up).  But I am not one to confront people in almost any situation (especially when I haven't prepared myself for it), so I was not ready to challenge 4 people whose opinions were probably fairly rooted and unlikely to change (especially from a residents wife - I'm biased in their eyes).  Two, it may make other people uncomfortable once they find out the opinions they hold are negative towards my husband.  I don't want to make the whole class awkward because I want to continue learning how to best prepare myself for labor and delivery and that is unrelated to what the classes opinions are.

We will not be going on the tour of the labor and delivery floor at the next class.  We don't want to be recognized and labeled as what we are (does that sound horrible?) and I already had the tour with the hospital's class, so I don't think I'll be missing anything.  (Plus my husband has been on OB this last month anyway, so I've been up there visiting him and talking to all the nurses and getting the lay of the land.  I'm feeling pretty confident and comfortable).

Lessons to be learned?

 - When speaking to a group of people that you don't know, at least consider the possibility that what you are about to say could be insulting to them.

 - Take all horror stories (or fabulous stories at that) that you hear from friends or friends of friends with a grain of salt.  I've heard the same experience told by the patient and the doctor and they were very different stories, so whether from ignorance, shame, pride, or other reasons, stories can be altered.

I'm still not sure if we should have said something or not.  I'm scared it's going to be a little harder for me to be completely open in the class and I'm going to be constantly censuring my thoughts and comments.  For me, realizing that not everyone is going to appreciate my husband the way I do and knowing that yes, mistakes are made sometimes because everyone working at the hospital is human, is helpful.  I also have confidence, though, that the hospital does not keep inept employees.  And that's what I think about when I start getting irritated at people's unfounded comments.  

I'm not sure if this post is helpful in any way.  It was more an interesting situation that I was placed in.  And it's quite possible that you may come into a situation like this (whether your spouse or significant other is a doctor/resident/med student or not).  If you know of a better way to approach it, let me know.  For now, I'll keep my thoughts to myself and just focus on the class.

-Rachel C.