On the Road to a Parenting Life

Expecting your first child comes with some fun moments.  Especially when you're husband is a resident.

• Picking an OB: when you're husband has worked with most of them and you'll see them at resident Christmas parties (which mine hosts).  
• Hiding pregnancy symptoms: When you're surrounded by doctors (and mother's who've been through it before).  Luckily, I had close to zero symptoms at the beginning, my belly didn't pop out until 5 months along (which is when we started telling people), my OB is at the hospital, not the clinic, so there weren't any residents to bump into accidentally in the one staircase and hallway, and we were ok lying to people's faces if anyone cared to ask if we were expecting (because we didn't care to tell them yet).
• Picking a regular doctor when your heart starts acting funny at the clinic where all the residents work.  Who are all either husbands of your friends, or your friends.  So I chose a female friend.  Because it would just be weird to have your friend's husband seeing you uncovered in any way.  Otherwise I have no problems with male doctors.
• Talking labor and birth with a bunch of female residents and mothers who explain things in such a clinical way.  Which is a little refreshing after all the wives tales reasonings behind funny pregnancy symptoms.
• Telling the Labor and Delivery nurses that I'd like to try going natural, no epidural.  Some interesting faces were passed around the group.  But they were still nice to me.  We'll see how that plays out in 3 months.
• In general, having men around that know so much about pregnancy.  More than the average father.  It's a little topsy turvy and funny.
• Sometimes when I ask my husband about some symptom I'm feeling and he says 'I don't know, ask your OB'.  What's the benefit of marrying a doctor, then? Besides the fact that I love him and he's super cute.  And he typically does know (or at least has a good idea), he just likes to feign ignorance to get a reaction out of me.  And it works, pretty much every time.  Adorable. 
• Realizing my husband is more prepared for labor than I am.  He's seen it, delivered children, coached women through delivery.  I've only heard him talk about it.

So we're excited to have an addition to our family.  And I really love having a medical man in the house to help me understand what my body is going through and what it has yet to go through.  But I know neither of us is really aware of what's about to happen in 3 months.  And we're stoked to find out!

I love my husband.  

And our little baby.  

Even though it's recently found my ribs.

-Rachel C. 

Life Unplugged

As I mentioned in my previous post, Dr. Barton and I were able to go on a week-long get-a-way recently. It was a week sans children, medical talk, house work, and for over half of it sans cell phone service (meaning no calls in or out, no texting, and no data for Facebook, Instagram, or even google maps). Let me tell you, it was glorious! We were truly able to be just "us" without any other distractions or even temptations of distraction. 

In a world where we have become all to dependent on our technology it was refreshing to be completely unplugged. It made me realize just how much I don't need all that extra stuff no matter what excuses I make up to convince myself otherwise. I don't need Facebook to stay connected to the outside world, I need to get outside. I don't need Instagram to see what friends are up to, I need to make the time to actually visit them and talk to them. I'm not saying that any of these things are bad or that they should never be used for those purposes, just that I shouldn't rely on then for my main source of interaction and entertainment like I was. 

I have found a new resolve to unplug more often. This week really showed me how much of the world I was missing by looking for it in a screen. Try it yourself. Put your phone away in a bedroom drawer for an entire day. Don't even turn on your TV or computer. I garuntee that you'll be surprised at how much you realize you just don't need it all. I know I was. 

- Clara B.

We knew it was coming...

But that doesn't make it any easier to swallow!

When my husband was interviewing for residencies, almost 3 years ago, he was very interested in things like "rural tracks" and continuity clinics in inner-city situations. Working in smaller towns and "medically-needy" situations is something he is very interested in (to his wife's displeasure). Our current residency program includes that very thing: a rural track, which is a month rotation spent in another town over an hour away from our home. Dr. N has been looking forward to his turn to be out in this small town working in the hospital and clinic there... so throughout the last 2 years we knew it was coming ... and yet it completely snuck up on me! It felt like suddenly I only had a couple weeks' notice that it was coming, and I didn't know how to emotionally prepare myself for the separation.

Since gas is so pricey right now ($3.75 and rising), and because of the length of the drive to this town and back, we decided that Dr. N would only drive home to stay overnight at home once each week. He has to be on mommy-call for some of his time as well, so for those days he can't drive home at all. But we were able to make a plan for the month in order to get a visit in with him every so often. We are now exactly one week into it and ... well, it has been a bit rough! My 2 kiddos and I REALLY miss Daddy being around. We also just came off of a vacation week, so we grew accustomed to him being around and then all of a sudden we had that bandaid ripped off! We didn't quite know how to react!

The kids act out more without their normal routine of seeing Daddy every day or two. 

I feel so overworked by the time their bedtime rolls around. 

"Mean-mommy" comes out of me WAY too often. 

I won't be able to attend tuesday night mutual activities (I am in the Young Women presidency in my church) unless I line up someone from the ward to sit at my house while I go - which is a lot harder to make happen than it sounds, since so many in our tiny ward have a tuesday calling! 

I feel lonely and somewhat forgotten by my friends who don't really understand what I'm going through. I even started bawling when one friend dropped by totally unannounced with an easter activity  for my kids! I so badly needed that reminder that I wasn't forgotten. 

We don't eat as well as when I'm cooking for a man ... we end up doing a lot more "kid friendly" food like quesadillas, grilled cheese, muffins, mac n cheese. Yuck. It's getting old and I'm only one week in! 

However, I have also noticed some "silver linings" to having Dr. N away: 

My house is much cleaner! And STAYS cleaner! I don't even understand why that is, because my man doesn't do any cleaning. I have the same amount of cleaning as I did before, but for some reason I get it done more often. It's a mystery! 

The amount of laundry I'm doing has been cut completely in half, which I am totally loving. Man clothes are so big and heavy... between business-attire, his white coats, ugly green scrubs that are never ending, and his gym clothes, it seems like his clothing alone creates more loads than mine and the kids' put together.

Our grocery bills have been cheaper so far! 

I have my nights all to myself and can watch whatever silly girl movies I want, or sit on the computer (like I am right now) for hours without feeling guilty. 

I know we will make it through this rotation, just like every other one we have encountered. Each new month is a new adventure, and each crappy rotation is a chance for me to learn a new level of independence and strength. As pain-staking as it may be. Someday I'll look back on this month and say "Remember when...??" 

-F. Nightingale