Medical School in Paradise

We are very excited to introduce our first guest blogger! We asked our dear friend, Jill Messenger, to write a post about her life as a med school wife in the Caribbean. Here's what she had to say!

Medical School on the island of Grenada (SGU):

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I love St. George’s University (SGU) like I love health insurance. I need it, but I hate it. SGU is giving MY husband (who applied for years and years to get into medical school in the States) the opportunity to fulfill his dream of becoming a physician!!! But sometimes? This school DRIVES ME NUTS!!!! The Mr. just needed to catch a break when it came to applying for medical schools, and SGU was the school that finally gave him one, and we will forever be grateful for it! 

I think medical school in general is a phenomenon that is a mystery. No one really seems to know anything about it unless they’ve been through it. Medical school also seems to invoke a lot of questions, but then tack on the fact that we’re doing it in the Caribbean??? I think it stimulates even more. And although this list will not be all-encompassing, it’ll give you a pretty good idea of what medical school is like in the Caribbean. Well, in Grenada, at least.

*Disclaimer – I’ve been here two years without leaving the island, and know the ins and outs of Grenada PRETTY well (it’s not very big); however, these experiences are my own, and anyone else you talk to may have something completely different to say.

The Good

The Island

·      Hello???!!! It’s a Caribbean Island.

·      Grenada is absolutely beautiful!

·      The UNIVERSITY CLUB POOL!!! (Every Monday and Thursday).

·      The people are friendly and warm.

·      There are so many things to see and do (and the best part of it all??? Most of it is FREE!!!!)! Beaches, waterfalls, pools, forts, snorkeling, boat rides, steel drum bands, CRAB RACES!! (yes… that’s really what I wrote), hiking, tide pools, and watching leatherback sea turtles lay eggs… to name a few.

·      The weather… aaaaahhhhh…. The weather….

·      Sunsets

·      The tropical fruit truly is divine, and if you like fish? There’s nothing better.

·      I feel very safe. Most of the crime that occurs here is theft, and people are VERY respectful of mothers and children.

·      Our house is nice, and a good value for the location.

·      It provides adventure for the adventurous soul!

·      During school breaks? It’s kind of like you have a FREE Caribbean vacation! (Because you’re already here)! :D

·      Life is more relaxed and moves slower.

·      There are a TON of VOLUNTEER opportunities with local charities, orphanages, and school programs.

The Social Life

·      SGU is one of the only schools that has a “Significant Other (SO) Organization.” Anyone who is a spouse, partner, child, etc… can join the SO Organization (for a small fee), and participate in any of the socials and activities. Everyone is so nice!!!! And you all understand each other, because you’re all going through the same thing.

·      For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there IS a branch located on the island, with a real (tiny) church building, with a HIGH student/student family population in the branch (at least for the time being).

·      The night life is fun, but can be expensive (depending on what you want to do). I’m not a “show up at a bar or party” type of a girl, so my night life consists of eating out at resort-style restaurants. It costs more money, but it SURE IS FUN!

The School

·      The campus is beautiful, well-kept, and on one of the most gorgeous peninsulas on the island.

·      SGU has high expectations from their students (good thing for a Caribbean school reputation).

·      And last but NOT least!!! My husband is going to be a REAL DOCTOR when all is said and done!!!!! (Yes… a real doctor. It’s sad that I have to clarify, but you have no idea how many people actually think that his education won’t “count” because it was done on an island. But yes, he will still be taking the same boards every other physician has to take if he/she wants to practice in America).

The Bad

The Island

·      Even Paradise gets old when you’re here long enough. Island fever is real. A 132 square mile island. You can only go to the same beaches, pools and waterfalls so many times. It’s like being stuck on vacation. Sure… it sounds nice now, but you know you’re always excited to be “home” once the vacation is over. Most students go home during the summer and winter breaks. My family has not left since we moved here almost two years ago! (Until tomorrow! We’re vacationing to ANOTHER island)!

·      Island hopping is NOT cheap! You’d think it would be. It’s not.

·      Grenada is a third-world, developing country. In the words of my brother-in-law, “I didn’t know people really lived like this!” It wasn’t much of a culture shock for me, but I understand that many people experience quite the surprise!

·      Food is EXPENSIVE!!!! Milk is 6 U.S. dollars a gallon, a 1 lb package of strawberries is 8 U.S. dollars. Apples are priced PER APPLE, not per pound. I used to spend anywhere from 200-400 U.S. dollars a month on groceries (family of 5), and now I spend anywhere from 800-1,000 U.S.!!!

·      Meat and cheese prices are outrageous, so we eat a lot of shredded chicken (and add beans) to stretch it out a little.

·      Groceries do not go on sale, so you can kiss the couponing goodbye! BUT… every once in awhile, the yogurt will be expiring “tomorrow”… and then you can get a KILLER deal!

·      On average, the grocery store will only carry about ¾ of the ingredients I need for my recipes. I’ve learned to adapt and modify recipes VERY well, and you can kiss your menu-making goodbye!

·      Luxuries (things you wouldn’t even CLASSIFY as a luxury) are GONE! Carpet, soft toilet paper, good tasting water, a dishwasher, a dryer, variety of food, inexpensive restaurants, fast food on every corner (not that I condone eating at them all the time!), Walmart, Costco, 24 hour DRIVE-THRU pharmacies, customer service, quick service, medical care, to name a few…

·      I once went to a Taco Bell in America that ran out of meat. WHAT???!!! That’s UNHEARD of! Not here. (And no… there’s no Taco Bell)…

·      Mosquitos and bugs.

·      The weather is beautiful (in the Winter) but it provides you with an odd sense of a time warp. You never know what month it is, and Christmas doesn’t feel like Christmas.

·      The summer months are HOT and HUMID! Pretty miserable. Most homes do not have central A/C, but a wall unit in the bedrooms that will cost you about 200 U.S. dollars a month if you run it a total of 6 hours a day. YIKES!  

·      Obtaining a work permit on the island is VERY difficult, so if you are a Significant Other looking for work, this is not going to be a good place to find it. Remember, though! Lots of volunteer opportunities!  

·      The island is NOT stroller friendly, and not biking friendly. There are not soccer or baseball, etc. leagues for little kids. Elementary and Secondary schools are high priced for a mediocre education, and there are not “parks” to play in. Basically, if your child doesn’t like to swim, you’re screwed.

The Social Life

·      If you think it’s hard to get away from people you don’t like now, try to avoid them when you live on a little island. It ain’t easy.

·      Want to throw a party? Better make sure you invite EVERYONE or someone’s gonna get hurt.

·      If you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, be prepared to serve A LOT! The local members are the sweetest and most humble members I’ve ever met, but they still do not understand what it means to hold a calling, and they live on West Indian time. They will most likely be late (if they show up at all) and unprepared. Hence, the majority of the responsibility will fall on your shoulders to get classes started, to teach, etc… (whether it’s your job or not). Both my husband and I hold pretty time-consuming callings.

The School

·      Just because it’s a Caribbean school, doesn’t make it a party school.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Caribbean schools have something to prove, a stigma against them, and in the attempt to rid themselves of such, they must put their students through the “Ring of Fire” AND the “Gauntlet,” all while the American Gladiators are chucking things at you, too. Did I paint that picture well enough for you? J (But don’t get me wrong, medical school is hard EVERYWHERE, not just here).

·      It is advised that the Caribbean Medical School student scores an average of 10 points higher on their board exams than any US Med School student in order to look competitive. Sounds kinda unfair to me.

AND… THE UGLY....

The Island

·      I finally know what it means to be a minority. It sucks. It sounds so cliché, but I really do get treated differently because of the color of my skin, and I HATE it! I get looked at like I don’t belong, I get charged higher prices, I get whistled and hissed at, the list goes on. I HATE RACISM! * But learn their names, and they’ll start to remember you. ;)

The Social Life

·      If there’s REAL drama (which there shouldn’t be because we’re all adults), but if there is… It is NOT a pretty sight. Too close of quarters, and a lot of people stuck in the middle.

The School

·      SGU’s class sizes are just getting bigger and bigger. The Mr. started in a class size of around 600. In just two years, the entering class jumped up to 800!!!!

·      RUMOR has it that there are only 500 or so clinical spots available to 3^rd year SGU students. RUMOR has it that the school PURPOSELY fails out the necessary amount of students in order to get the class down to the right number by the end of the first two years; thus, robbing the “failing” students of hundreds of thousands of dollars by the time they get “dismissed.”

o   I cannot emphasize RUMOR enough.

o   I have heard from a reliable source that this is false, and that the school has plenty of clinical spots available. (But really? Who would admit to this unethical practice?)

o   I’m just saying it’s pretty ironic that the number just so “happens” to be around 500 students every single time the last semester begins.

·      The cheating at this school is RAMPANT!

o   Old exams are passed around like they’re candy. My husband refuses to participate because it’s CHEATING!

o   About 80% of the current exam questions come from old exams. That’s a FREE 80%, from no work of your own!

o   And then, there’s my husband who continues to keep his eyes on his own paper and do his own work, and yet, his 70% will be compared to the 85% the other students are “earning.” It doesn’t seem fair to me.

o   Some people may call him stupid. I call him a man who has integrity.

The Conclusion:

Alright, if you were to look at this list alone, you would think that I hated the island and the school! THAT IS NOT THE CASE AT ALL! I love it here! I tear up thinking about the day that I have to leave. I don’t witness the things on the negative list more than 3 or 4 times a week, but I do witness most everything on the positive list almost every minute of every day.

Sure, things drive me nuts, and sure, I’m going a little stir crazy, but the fact is… Grenada helped shape the person I have become (as well as our family). My children now leap for joy when we have fresh milk in the fridge. Their Santa wish lists consisted of 4 or 5 things… LITTLE things. They scream with excitement for a bag of popcorn. I’m so proud to say they are mine.

I’m so grateful we have had the opportunity to live in Grenada. A place where supply is limited, but gratitude is high. A place where children are not spoiled from their world that is full of plenty. A place that puts life into perspective, and helps you remember the more important things in life.

Even amongst all of the “bad and uglies,” and knowing what I know now, I can honestly say, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

<3… Signing off

Accepting a Helping Hand

As a doctor's wife you have to be independent. There's just no way around it. If you're the kind of person who needs constant attention from your significant other you are going to have to chose between making a change towards independence, absolute misery, or in the worst case divorce. It's a trait that isn't always easy, but absolutely necessary to make it through the long hours your Dr Husband works. However, there is such thing as too much indepenendence.

I have spent so many hours being strong for my husband, so that he didn't feel guilty that he had to study or work late, that I convinced myself I could do this alone. I didn't need neighbors to help watch my kids for a while. I didn't need ward members to invite us over for dinner because my husband was on-call. I didn't need help because that meant I was weak, needy, and pitiful. Somehow I managed to convince myself of this. 

In medical school it was EXTREMELY rare for me to accept any kind of help, yet alone ask for it. Once we hit residency I started to feel a little more comfortable with both the accepting and asking, but only as long as I felt that it wasn't a big deal (like having a friend pick up my oldest from preschool when my friend was already picking up her own daughter and had to drive by my house on her way home anyway). If the service was going to put anyone out in any way I wasn't okay with it. Well ladies and gentleman, the ghost of service present has come to visit and my heart has been changed. 

This past month Dr. Barton has been on a rotation three hours away with only one day off a week. This means he hasn't been home at all since it's just too far to drive here and back all in one day. I didn't think this would be all that much harder than the norm since he isn't around much anyway, but boy was I wrong. 

We were lucky to spend two whole weeks with him at his location since it also happens to be his home town. Grandma and Grandpa's house was a wonderful refuge for all of us, but eventually the littles and I had to head back to our reality of preschool, dance classes, church callings, and a first ever dance recital. It was rough. The littles were mad at me for taking them away from Dr Dad, Grandma, and Grandpa, so I was getting extra attitude from both of them. I came home to find mice had made their way into our garage and eaten my infant car seat that had been stored in there, and we had a good amount of snow dump on us (and this is after living in a warm, snow-less place for the last four years.... and driving a new van that I'm still getting used to.... and living on a hill.... and being in a place that apparently doesn't clear ANY streets when it snows. Can you spell disaster?) 

We returned at the busiest time possible. I had a lot on my plate without all the added chaos and not even twenty four hours after returning home I felt beaten down. That's when the love and tender mercies started pouring in. I found a care package filled with chocolates, nail polish, homemade sugar scrub, and a new book that a friend from medical school had sent to me (since she knew Dr. Barton was going to be gone for an extended time) as I was sitting in the Lowe's parking lot, in between dance classes and the ward Christmas party, waiting for my baby to wake up so I could buy mouse traps. This lead to a flood of tears, in the Lowe's parking lot. Feeling overwhelmed with all the activities on our calendar, cranky children, and the thought of dealing with mice, I could not have opened that act of love at a better time. 

At the ward Christmas party a sister in the ward saw me walk in late and alone with my two girls, made room for us at her table, and then proceeded to help me grab dinner for my girls so that I didn't have to juggle two toddlers and three plates by myself. Santa took the extra time to make my littles comfortable and happy so that we could snap a good picture to send to Dr. Dad. And another ward member rushed to my car to stay with my baby when they saw that after taking both littles out in the freezing cold and strapping them both in their car seats that my oldest suddenly had to go potty and pronto. 

When my girls fell asleep at 6:30 PM and didn't wake up shorty after like I expected them to, I asked a neighbor if she could head over to my house so that I could run to the store to buy ingredients for the Relief Society Christmas breakfast that was the early the next morning. Not only was she willing to do that, but she actually went shopping for me since she had to go to the store anyway.

A friend in the ward had her husband pick-up and drive my van down a slick, steep, windy hill when I didn't trust my snow-driving skills after the first real snowfall of the season. He then went a step further by walking over to our house (a good two blocks in 1* weather) to help me shovel our drive-way. 

Some friends from residency picked me up and took me as their third wheel to the residency Christmas party so that I didn't have to feel awkward going alone. They then stuck around after bringing me home to help me put my kiddos in bed and just talk for a while so that I wouldn't get lonely. 

After it continued to dump snow on us that night, I woke up Sunday morning to find all two feet of snow that had fallen overnight shoveled off my driveway by some Good Samaritan. And when I was under the weather and feeling unable to tackle church, people stepped in without hesitation to fill my callings. 

My visiting teacher insisted on watching my girls for me so that I could have some time to myself to do whatever I wanted. She was also willing to watch them a second day that same week so that I could take some final exams for school. 

There have been numerous other "small" acts that people have done for me in just the short amount of time we have been home and complelty fatherless, too many to add to this already long post. There is no way that I could have done all this without those helping hands and loving hearts. 

I have come to realize that being strong and independent doesn't mean doing it completely by yourself all the time. It means knowing when you do need the extra help, accepting it, and even asking for it, without hesitation. It does not make you weak, it makes you human. People aren't bestowing pity, they are sharing love. Let those helping hands into your home and into your heart. It will make your life so much better. 

- Clara B. 

Time Well Wasted

I don't know about you but I ate the house to the ground this last weekend.  To.  The.  Ground.  No big deal except for the fact that I am becoming increasingly worried that Thanksgiving was a precursor to the coming months.  My husband has reached the homestretch with medical school.  Residency interviews are about over and the months ahead will be spent waiting.  And eating.

I don't really know what to do with myself.  I feel like we are in limbo.  I mean, we know we are moving in less than 6 months.  We just don't know where.  I can't plan ahead.  Looking for houses or apartments feels like a fantasy.  Should I buy the girls a bunk-bed or will we be lucky enough to get a place big enough for them to have their own rooms?  Do I buy this couch or that couch?  Home decor on Pinterest is getting close to ruining my life.  It's nothing but a pipe dream, you guys.  But then I search for deliciously easy recipes.  You know where I'm going with this.  Cream cheese frosting...on a spoon.  Or cinnamon roll.  Whatever you want, really.  Can you say wretched glutton?

So, our family is going on a chicken and lettuce diet.  It started out as a joke.  I'm a believer of portion control.  Go ahead and eat your pizza, just maybe not eight slices.  This chicken and lettuce thing is probably going to kill me.  Or at least my resolve to eat a little healthier.  We'll see which comes first.  Still, no more delicious Pinterest recipes.  No more killing time on the world wide web finding the next greatest cupcake recipe.  I'm bored.  It feels never ending.

Filling the time is getting difficult, especially when I can't fill it with ranch dip or nachos.  We've reached our quota on family movie nights.  Despicable Me has been seen so many times that my daughter built her very own "box of shame" for quiet time.  Try explaining that to people.  The Christmas tree has been decorated and undecorated multiple times.  We've wandered the mall, Target, and Bass Pro Shop so much that I think we are considered "regulars".  I'm running out of ideas so if you've got 'em, help a sister out.  The more skeeball, the better.  Until then, enjoy your delicious food.  I'll be over here eating lettuce and wishing it was a cheeseburger.

m. quinn